Peri-menopause, alcohol and me
Perimenopause and menopause cause changes in body composition and can also lead to depression, anxiety, stress, fatigue, insomnia and cognitive decline –all of which, according to various studies, can trigger the onset of alcohol abuse or worsen previously existing alcohol use disorders (AUDs).
And this is what happened to me – my existing alcohol use disorder spiralled out of control.
I struggled with alcohol on and off since my teens. I liked it a bit too much, right from the start. Some years were better than others – I managed to moderate occasionally and I was happy to avoid alcohol during my pregnancy - but then, after a series of losses in my 40’s, my drinking became unmanageable.
What I didn’t know at the time was that I was also peri-menopausal, and the effects of alcohol were being amplified due to the changes that my body was going through.
The photo on the left was taken a few months before I stopped drinking (age 47) and the photo on the right was around 4 years sober.
I was bloated and depressed. I was having panic attacks and had become terrified of driving on motorways, and even more terrified of flying. My gut health, which had bad for years, became so bad that I dreaded eating. I started having excruciating joint pains and I struggled to exercise.
I was operating on a few hours sleep a night, waking around 3am every morning with a deep feeling of dread. I started drinking more and more to try to make myself feel better, to calm my anxiety, to help me sleep, to stop me from feeling so angry.
I had no idea that these can all be symptoms of perimenopause, and that alcohol, instead of calming me, or helping me sleep, or helping to dull the pain, was exacerbating every single symptom.
I tipped from being psychologically addicted to being also physically addicted, which is a very dangerous place to be. I knew that if I carried on drinking it wouldn’t take long for me to die from it. I was buckling under the weight of shame and self-loathing and I realised that I was very, very ill.
After reaching a series of rockbottoms, I knew I had to stop. My GP was unhelpful, and I didn’t feel I was in a position to go into rehab, so I tapered (cut down gradually) which was the hardest thing I have ever done.
***** If you are physically addicted it is extremely dangerous to stop on your own - it needs to be done under medical supervision because there is a high risk of seizures. *****
Don’t suffer in silence, ask for help. I was too ashamed to, but there is far less stigma attached to alcohol use disorders now. If you have no-one to talk to, try Soberistas, which is behind a paywall, or there are several free support groups online, including AA.
You do not have to do this on your own.
The healing process
I was sad, scared, uncomfortable, lonely and frustrated in the early days, but very determined. I turned to nutrition to sort out my physical health and found that it improved my mental health – that sense of emptiness, anxiety and unease that I’d had since a child all but disappeared.
I didn't know at the time that those nutrition and lifestyle changes that I made to support my recovery would also support me through the menopause.
Fundamentals like working on my digestion and liver function which had been damaged by alcohol supported hormone metabolism; blood sugar management to support alcohol cravings also supported mood swings and energy; and a nutrient-dense diet to rectify the malnutrition caused by long-term alcohol abuse supported my mental and cognitive health.
Stress management is also absolutely critical for supporting our bodies through the peri- and menopause, and I worked (still work) hard on this. Stress was a key driver behind my addictive behaviour so yoga, breathing exercises, mindfulness, meditation, setting firm boundaries (learning to say no has been huge) have all been part of my recovery journey.
My life has changed immeasurably. From being addicted to alcohol and feeling physically and mentally broken, I have a rich and full life - beyond what I could have imagined 8 years ago.
Never, for one moment, have I ever regretted stopping drinking. It's a gift to enter your 50s full of hope.
If you are wondering if it is worth it, if you should do it, just give it a go.
I studied and qualified as a nutritional therapist to support others in midlife who are feeling as stuck and low as I was.
I work with people who struggle with alcohol, but also with people who struggle with any kind of damaging behaviours or who simply recognise that they could be feeling so much better. I run various workshops and programmes and I also work on a 1:1 basis.
The best way to know more about how I work is to sign up to my newsletter here.
You might also be interested in one of my retreats / courses on A Self-Compasssionate Approach to Becoming Alcohol-Free. The next one is in January 2024.